Grey Skies turn Blue
by bannonluke
Summary: Two damaged souls find comfort in one another. Post Journey's End. Crossover with Catherine Tate's play under the blue sky. NOT FOR YOUNGER READERS! You have been warned. Characters: The Doctor, Michelle from UTBS.


Title: Grey Skies turn Blue

Author: adroidmortox247 aka bannonluke

Fandoms: Doctor Who, Under the Blue Sky

**Genre:** Hurt/Comfort

**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters

**Characters/Pairings:** The Doctor, Michelle, some implied Doctor/Donna

**Spoilers:** Journey's End, and a MAJOR spoiler for the end of Michelle and Graham's story in Under the Blue Sky

**Rating:** R for swearing, some sexual situations, and references to rape.

**Summary:** Two damaged souls find comfort in each other.

**Author's Notes:** _My first attempt at a H/C fic. I guess this counts as AU, as Michelle's story was set in 1999. For the record Michelle, as I write her, is the version played by Catherine Tate. I just thought it would be interesting if she and The Doctor met, particularly as the last we saw them they were both damaged. And well, I'm a sucker for giving things a happier/more optimistic ending. Particularly as I was struck by a remark Catherine Tate herself made, that despite what happens to Michelle, she will not be a victim. Well, enjoy._

The Doctor wasn't normally one for pubs. Too noisy and too pricey. But as the TARDIS' drinks cabinet was empty, and he was still feeling melancholy he made an exception. He would have left sooner, but it was pouring outside. Blasted temporal disturbances. Even the weather reminded him of that day.

He didn't have any idea how much he'd had to drink. Timelords had a higher metabolism than humans anyway. He also had no idea how long he'd been there. All he knew was despite his best efforts, he was still thinking about poor, poor Donna. Suddenly, he noticed someone. He did a double-take. For a moment he thought it was her, and was scared he'd have to do his vanishing man routine again. But no, it was just someone who looked similar.

Michelle was uneasy. It was the first time she was out since… her first night out in a while. She tried to behave normally, like it was just another Friday night, but she still felt anxious. She then noticed a man eying her from the bar. Normally she'd not have paid him much notice (far too weedy looking ), but she decided she'd approach him. She couldn't explain why, but she had this feeling about him. He seemed… safe. And besides, it would be a good way to put tha….to get back into her routine.

The Doctor was surprised. She was coming over to him. Oh well, might as well buy her a drink. Only polite after all. And it might get his mind off of things for a while. He ordered the drinks.

"By yourself then?" She asked.

"Yeah," He remarked, "Why, are you interested?"

The woman smacked his arm.

"Cheeky." She teased. "So, where you from?"

"All over."

Michelle laughed. She held out her hand.

"I'm Michelle." She remarked.

"John." The Doctor lied. "John Smith."

"Ooh, like the bitter." Michelle joked.

"More of a spirits man myself." The Doctor said.

So it continued. The Doctor bought Michelle another drink. Then another. And so on. It got to the point where The Doctor was actually beginning to feel drunk.

They whiled away many hours, partaking in that special talent of talking without actually saying anything. Michelle mentioned that she was a teacher, he mentioned he did that once, but only for a bit.

"Kids drive you crazy?" She asked.

"Not so much them as the other teachers."

"I know what you mean."

The Doctor could tell she was flirting with him. Under other circumstances, he would have ignored the advances. But she reminded him so much of Donna. Not just in looks, but her attitude. But he also got an uneasy feeling about her. That like Donna, underneath her bravado and flirtiness, there was a damaged soul. A kindred spirit.

Michelle liked this John Smith. Ok, still too skinny, but he was kinda handsome. But it wasn't just that. He seemed interested in her. And not in a sexual way, he wasn't looking down her top like most men did. He actually seemed to care what she had to say. Not many people were.

"I can't believe a nice guy like you, is by yourself." She said truthfully.

"Yeah," He replied, "Alone again."

_Poor soul,_ Michelle thought.

"How'd you mean?" She asked.

Before The Doctor could stop himself, he was telling her a little about Donna. Why not? Not like he'd ever see this woman again after tonight.

Michelle rolled her eyes slightly as John talked about his friend. As far as she could tell, he loved this friend, but was either too scared or too stupid to do anything about it. Anne and Robert all over again. She hoped he wouldn't go on about her. Oh well. Beggars can't be choosers.

The Doctor soon realised that Michelle was just humouring him. Best change the subject then.

"But," he concluded, "She's gone now."

He took a sip from his drink.

"What about you?" He then asked. "Anyone special?"

"Nah." She remarked, before teasingly adding, "All on my own."

She grabbed The Doctor's arm.

"Fancy joining me for a few round my place, to keep me company?"

She kicked herself. Why'd she say that? It was too soon for… that. But he seemed harmless. And she was glad to know, at least she'd be with someone who seemed as lonely as she felt.

The Doctor could see the quiet desperation in Michelle's eyes. They said Don't leave me alone. He didn't want to be alone either. He'd had enough of that. So he agreed to join her.

An hour later, the two were inside Michelle's apartment. She had her tongue down his throat, and his hands were busy groping her top, as the two of them edged closer to the bed.

She broke the kiss off. The Doctor took advantage of this to fling his coat onto the bed.

Michelle started to play with her chest.

"Do you wanna see my tits?" She said in a seductive manner.

"Oh yes!" The Doctor said happily.

Michelle started to loosen the strings on her top.

"I can't hear you." She teased.

"I wanna see them." The Doctor said, getting into the swing of things. "I can't wait to squeeze those funbags."

He noticed her expression hardened when he said that. She stopped playing with the strings. She appeared lost in thought.

_Damn!_ The Doctor thought. He'd clearly said something wrong.

"Sorry." He remarked. "That was rude of me."

"It's not that..." She began.

She shook her head. _Stop thinking about it! Just get on with it._

Without warning, she abruptly pulled her top down, revealing a lacy red bra.

"Ta-da." She kidded.

The Doctor's eyes widened. Even her bra reminded him of Donna. He remembered that time on Lynxara 74, when she...

Michelle fumed inwardly. He's doing it again.

She got on her knees and started undoing his trousers. This ought to get his attention. She looked up. Or not. Oh well. She could tell from the outline of his underwear he was well hung. Unlike...God damn it! Was this always going to happen? Would Graham always be in her memory? For a moment, Michelle's mask of confidence slipped, as she started to cry.

The Doctor was jolted out of his memories by the sound of tears. He looked down to see Michelle wiping her eyes. What the…

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"No I'm not fucking alright!" Michelle snapped as she got to her feet, and pulled her top back up. Damn! He saw her weakness. She couldn't have that. She was above that!

"I need a drink!" She said as she stormed over to the fridge.

"What, another one?" The Doctor jokingly remarked.

"Who are you, my father?!" Michelle sniped as she opened the fridge and took out a large bottle of Bacardi Breezer. She then stormed over to her bed, kicking her shoes off violently as she did so.

The Doctor was surprised at Michelle's sudden mood swing. He'd heard of a violent drunk but…No, that couldn't be it. There was something else wrong. He started to move, then he realised his trousers were still undone. He quickly pulled them back up.

She threw herself on the bed angrily. The Doctor approached her uneasily.

"Sorry." The Doctor said, "I did-"

"Forget it." Michelle remarked, as she struggled to get the lid open.

The Doctor offered to open it. Michelle sighed and handed it over.

"Look, It was a fun night. Let's just leave it at that. I'm gonna have a drink, you can have another one, then you can go."

The Doctor was beginning to feel really perplexed. Had I done something wrong? He finally got the bottle open and handed it over to Michelle. To his amazement, she started drinking straight from the bottle, as though her life depended on it. He sat down on the bed beside her, hoping to clear the air.

"Why, what's the problem? I mean one minute you're on your knees, the next..."

"Oh, so you noticed then?" Michelle jibed. She turned her back to him angrily, and continued drinking.

"What's that mean?" The Doctor asked

Michelle ceased drinking.

"Oh, you really are clueless aren't you?" She retorted, shaking her head angrily.

"Well tell me what it is!" The Doctor remarked as he tried edging closer to her.

Michelle suddenly snapped back round to face him. Her face was like thunder.

"You don't really care about me, do ya?" Michelle said accusingly. "You're just with me because I remind you of your friend!"

"That's not true…" The Doctor said hesitantly. He pulled back, stunned at the outburst.

"Look John, I might be drunk, but don't think I'm a fucking idiot!"She paused to take another swig from the bottle.

"All fucking night it's been Donna this and Donna that!" Michelle bellowed. "If Donna's so special, why aren't you with her?"

The Doctor suddenly took an interest in the wallpaper. Anything to try and block out this hostility. But Michelle wasn't prepared to let him get away unscathed.

"Oi!" She yelled, grabbing his shoulder, "Don't you ignore me!"

"We can't… see each other." The Doctor said cryptically.

"What, did she file a restraining order?"

"It's complicated." The Doctor said, as he now looked at his shoes. "You wouldn't understand."

Michelle seethed. _What was THAT meant to mean?_ She lodged her hand under his chin, and pushed upwards, forcing him to look her face to face.

"What, cos I'm stupid? Cos I'm just slutty Michelle?"

"You're the one saying that not me."

"Well, you've been thinking it!" Michelle said bitterly, shoving him in the face.

She flopped onto the bed, still draining the bottle as though it was the Elixir of life.

The Doctor moved hesitantly towards her.

"I wasn-"

"That's what people call me ya know." Michelle said resentfully. "Among other things. They think I don't notice, but I do. Michelle the slapper. Mingy Michelle, Mucky Michelle… I've heard them all."

She paused to take another drink, to calm herself down. She was on the verge of tears, and she had a horrible, twisting feeling in her stomach.

"I won't lie." She muttered, "I've been around. But that doesn't make me a slut. And it doesn't…"

She trailed off to take another drink. Why the hell was she telling him all this? Like he cared. She thought that she'd found someone who'd listen, but he just wanted to use her as a stand-in. Sicko.

The Doctor felt guilty as he saw Michelle in this state. Was that what he was doing? Making her a Donna substitute? Was he here just to ease his own guilty conscience? He wasn't sure anymore. No matter. He knew he had to make things right. Talk Michelle through whatever it was troubling her.

"I'm sorry." He said sincerely.

Michelle glanced up and shot him a disparaging look, and continued her drink. The bottle was nearly empty.

"It wasn't my intention to do that." He remarked as he leaned in closer. "I would like to know you."

Michelle sat up, but ignored him. She wiped her mouth, then drained the last of the bottle.

"Please, I'd like to talk."

"Well, I don't!" Michelle stormed, getting up to place the bottle in the bin. "I'll phone you a taxi, and you're lucky I'm doing that."

The Doctor got to his feet.

"Michelle," he said, as he started to follow her, "Talk to me."

"Piss off!"

"Please, I want to help." The Doctor said sincerely.

Michelle's grip on the bottle tightened until her knuckles were white. She laughed to herself bitterly.

The Doctor backed off slowly. He reckoned he could make it to the door alright.

Michelle's laughter subsided.

"Oh, so that's it then?" Michelle sneered. "You're my knight in shining armour, who wants to make me all better?"

"At least I'm willing to talk about my problems," The Doctor sniped, "Rather than try drowning them with alcopops!"

The Doctor barely avoided the projectile hurtled at him. The bottle shattered, creating an interesting pattern of yellow colouring and broken glass on the wall and floor.

Before he could regain his composure, Michelle was atop of him.

"Fuck you!" She yelled in between smacks. "You… hypocrite! You STINK of booze! And you get sanctimonious with me?! Who the hell do you think you are?!"

The Doctor tried putting his hands up, but it was little use. Eventually, Michelle tired herself out. As she paused to regain her breath, The Doctor dashed out of the kitchen area, and towards the bed.

But Michelle wasn't going to let him get the last laugh.

"Tell me this," she panted, "If you're so good helping people," she continued, "couldn't you help your little girlfriend?! Or is that the problem? You tried helping her, but it flew back in your face!"

The Doctor appeared frozen to the spot.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Michelle said.

"Don't." The Doctor said sternly.

"But I'm right. So what did you do to her?"

"That's enough." The Doctor warned.

"What? Did I hit a raw spot?" Michelle asked mockingly, as she leaned over the kitchen counter.

"Did I hurt your feelings? Well, forgive me if I'm not blessed Saint Donna!"

"I SAID STOP IT!" The Doctor yelled as he turned towards her. His face was filled with unbridled anger. The Oncoming Storm himself.

It was Michelle's turn to get scared. Oh no. The worm was turning. It was gonna happen again! She knew she shouldn't have thrown that bottle! She flung open the knife door. Shit! All the sharp-ones must have been in the dishwasher. She grabbed the nearest thing she could find

"Stay back!" Michelle ordered. She then realised what she was waving "Or… I'll spatula you senseless!"

The Doctor's fury subsided when he saw the fear, the desperation in Michelle's eyes. It was as though she'd seen a ghost. He felt a deep sense of shame. She didn't deserve his anger.

"Sorry." He said. He seemed to be saying that a lot lately.

There was an uneasy silence. It was only then The Doctor realised how really, really, desperately he needed to relieve himself.

"Is your toilet through here?" He asked, gesturing to the other door.

Michelle nodded.

When he returned, Michelle was lying on the bed massaging her temple. Broken glass cleared away, and without the spatula, thank goodness.

"You alright?" The Doctor enquired honestly.

"Slight headache."

She then sat up.

"You didn't answer my question." Michelle remarked. Her tone was much softer.

"Do you really wanna know?" The Doctor asked.

Michelle nodded.

"It's clearly… bugging you. " She remarked. "Best get it out."

The Doctor grinned at the irony. Here was the woman who didn't want his help moments ago, asking him to open up.

"John, seriously. What happened to Donna?"

The Doctor took a deep breath.

"I killed her." He said quietly.

"What?" Michelle whispered, horrified. She could see he had anger issues, but murder?

"Not literally," He said quickly added. "But I might as well have."

The Doctor saw the look of horror on Michelle's face. Good work, genius. He thought to himself.

"I should go." He remarked, as he reached over to get his coat.

To his surprise, Michelle placed her hands on his, stopping him.

"Don't." Michelle remarked sternly. "Do you think walking away will make it disappear?"

The Doctor was tempted to say that's what he usually did. But it wasn't working in this case. Donna seemed to haunt him wherever he went. He had to purge himself of this.

Michelle adjusted her position on the bed, and patted the mattress. She'd normally wouldn't have bothered, But after her outburst earlier it was the least she could do.

"Here," Michelle said, "Sit down. Talk about it."

The Doctor sat down on the bed.

"So, what happened?"

"I had to make a choice." He explained. "Either let Donna die, or let her live, but as a shell of what she was. And I chose the latter."

Michelle was tempted to prod further, but decided to let him finish first.

"She's with her family." He continued, "Working away, same old life. Same dull routine. This was a woman, who did the most amazing things. We had some great times. God, the travelling we did. But she was more than just a travelling companion. Much more. She kept me down to Earth, talked sense into me when I needed it. Or failing that, knock sense into me."

Michelle smirked. "Was that often?" She joked.

"Yeah." The Doctor remarked. "The sad bit is, she can't remember any of that. Any of those wonderful things. Or me."

"Amnesia?"

"Sort of."

Michelle pondered this. She now understood, at least to an extent where he was coming from. But she knew he had to realise what he did… wasn't as bad as what other people were capable of.

"So she's alive then?" She asked soothingly.

"If you can call it living." The Doctor said. "Stuck in the rut I found her in…"

"But…" Michelle interrupted, "She's alive, isn't she?"

"Yeah…" The Doctor began, "Bu-"

"And she's happy, right?" Michelle asked, more firmly. "She is happy, with her life, right now?"

The Doctor considered this.

"Yeah." He observed, "She was happy, yes."

"Then you did the right thing." Michelle said factually. "It may hurt, but it was right. Don't let anyone tell you differently."

She paused. She was going to hate doing this. But she needed to say it.

"And it's not like you had a choice." She said. "Let someone die or save a life, I know what'd I choose. And I can tell you didn't want to do that, did you?"

The Doctor shook his head.

"If there was another way," he said, "I'd have done that."

"Thought so." Michelle continued. "It's not like you decided, I'm gonna do this to her, regardless of if she wants it or not? I'll take what I want, and to hell with the consequences."

The Doctor noticed Michelle was trembling slightly as she said those words. It was only then, that the penny finally dropped. His eyes widened. That explained her tears earlier.

"You were…"

"Raped." Michelle said coolly, "By a workmate, of all things. First he blackmailed me into sleeping with him, then he…"

Michelle couldn't bring herself to say it again.

"Of course," She continued calmly, "I couldn't tell anyone. How could I? They'd say… I must have wanted it. After all, I'm such a slut!"

There was a lot of animosity in her voice as she said that. The Doctor couldn't blame her though. It was always easier for people to blame the victim, than accept that a monster walked among 'decent' people.

"You know what's ironic?" Michelle laughed cynically, "The only reason I went to his flat was to get back at my ex. Funny, huh?"

Her laughter suddenly turned to tears.

The Doctor couldn't stand seeing her like this. He was unsure if it was right or not, but he wrapped his arms around her. He made sure not to hold her tight.

"I'm so sorry…" He said sorrowfully.

"Don't be." Michelle interrupted. "It was my own bloody fault."

"That's nonsense!" The Doctor snapped.

"It's the truth!" She sobbed. "I mean look at me! My first night out since then, and I've already brought someone home! They're right. I am just a… whore."

She bawled into his shoulder. The Doctor let her cry a little. She had to get some of those pent up emotions out. But he also knew, that he couldn't allow her to think that about herself.

"Michelle, look at me." He whispered.

She looked up into his eyes.

"I don't know, or care, what you've done in the past." He said, as he wiped her eyes, "It doesn't make what happened to you right. And it doesn't make it your fault. I know it's hard, but you can't let them get to you. And more importantly, you can't let him get the better of you. Which is what you're doing at the moment."

A look of bewilderment crossed Michelle's face.

"What?"

"You're letting him win." The Doctor said resolutely, "Letting him have control your life. You can't make yourself be his victim forever. Because, I may not know that much about you, but I know you're no victim."

Michelle contemplated these words. He had a point. But there was something still bugging her…

"Well," she began, "What about Donna?"

"I'm sorry?"

"By moping, aren't you making her your victim?" Michelle asked.

The Doctor was stunned. He never thought of it like that.

"And ask yourself," Michelle continued, "is that how you want to remember your best friend? As someone you destroyed?"

"No!" The Doctor replied.

"That's what I thought." Michelle said. "From what you've told me, Donna'd tell you to snap out of it! She'd say to stop feeling sorry for her. So you wanna remember her? Keep her in your thoughts? Well then get out there, keep travelling, keep doing what you're doing, do it for her! Do it in her honour!

You know what's really weird about you John? You keep banging on about how you ruined her life. Make yourself out to be some monster. Which you're not. Trust me, I've dealt with monsters."

Those words resonated with The Doctor. For the first time in a long time, he felt he was seeing things clearly. It was as though Michelle had lifted the veil from his eyes.

She was right. Donna wasn't some broken toy, and she wasn't dead. He'd been too busy listening to Davros, he actually started to believe his rhetoric about being the Destroyer of worlds, the man who made people into soldiers. While he should have been listening to Sarah Jane, telling him he didn't need to feel alone. That he had people who cared for him. Funny, it took a complete stranger's words for one of his oldest friend's messages to sink in. Finally.

The Doctor kissed Michelle tenderly on the cheek."Thank you." He said sincerely.

Michelle grabbed him suddenly and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Back at ya."

The Doctor then kissed her on the lips.

"No, really." He said. "Thank you."

Michelle went to kiss him again, but then she pulled back.

"Do you fancy a drink?" she asked.

"You tease." The Doctor joked. "Go on then."

Michelle got up and headed toward the fridge. The Doctor took a moment to compose himself. This was turning out to be a draining evening. And not in the way he anticipated.

Michelle popped her head round the corner.

"I only have WKD, that alright?"

The Doctor nodded.

Michelle returned with the drinks. The Doctor noticed there was a change in her demeanour. She seemed… more confident. She handed him his glass.

"Cheers."

"Molte bene!" The Doctor remarked, as he clinked his glass against hers.

The two quickly drained their glasses. They needed it.

Michelle then began laughing to herself. Not the bitter laughter from earlier. It was an infectious laugh. The Doctor felt himself smirking just listening to it.

"What is it?" The Doctor asked.

Michelle grinned at him.

"We're really fucked up, aren't we?" She kidded.

The Doctor laughed nervously.

"Yep." He chimed. "Damaged souls."

"Well, you maybe." Michelle remarked as she set her glass down. "I'm not!"

"Glad to hear." The Doctor grinned.

"I'm not gonna let that… bastard get in the way of my life!" She remarked in a heartfelt tone.

"Good." The Doctor said.

"I'm not his victim." She said, determined. "Not now, not ever. And I'm not anyone else's victim for that matter!"

She suddenly got up, went over to the window and flung it wide open.

"YOU HEAR THAT?" She yelled. "I'M NO-ONE'S VICTIM!"

She paused, to relish in this moment of empowerment.

Which was undercut when a voice from below yelled, "IT'S FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING! GO TO SLEEP YOU STUPID COW!"

Michelle slammed the window shut, embarrassed.

The Doctor giggled.

"Oh shut up." She said good-humouredly, as she sat down again.

The Doctor stuck his tongue out, and the two laughed some more. Once the laughter subsided, The Doctor spoke again.

"If I can be serious…"

"What, opposed to your usual happy go lucky self?" Michelle teased.

"You were right." The Doctor said, ignoring her, "I'll make Donna proud."

"Don't mention it." Michelle said, waving nonchalantly. "You keep your word, I'll keep mine, deal?"

"Sealed with a handshake?"

The Doctor offered his hand. A mischievous look suddenly appeared on Michelle's face, as she grabbed onto his hand and pulled him towards her.

"I'll do one better."

Before The Doctor could process it, Michelle was kissing him again.

They kissed for a few more moments.

"So, that's done with." Michelle remarked.

She then pushed The Doctor down onto the bed, and climbed on top of him

"Let's put the past behind us." She teased, as she pulled her top down. "Why don't we… just imagine that we've just got in, and you wanna see my tits?"

The Doctor grinned.

"Oh yes!" He exclaimed.


End file.
